BECOMING BESPOKE: A First Year Pivot in High Style

A Close Up of Jo. in a Bespoke Ornate Cape with shoulder ornaments and gold embellishments, from her 2020 Wedding, indicating a prelude to her Bespoke Curation Journey.

When something is spoken before it actually exists, it's an example of what it means to "bespeak". The term "bespoke" is derived from the concept of being the first of its kind. A one-of-one something, formed in words, before it actually exists in life... and while I make Bespoke garments here in the atelier... It is also safe to say, the garments have made me a thing of bespoke nature, in return. - Jo.

Getting Started

When I founded INVITE LUXURY, INC. it wasn't for money. It was for me. Don't get me wrong. I'm no fool. I fully understand the ease that money can provide and yet, when I opened the atelier, I had none of it. I struggled to feed myself and my children. I lived with my husband's family in New Jersey, determined to build something sustainable and I had nothing to work with, outside of passion and several gifts from God. The workforce had been unkind to me. Twenty-seven years of grinding and nothing to show for it. I had been working since I was thirteen and in the wake of all that hustle and bustle was a long resume and zero stability.

The end of my rope came from the Insurance industry.

I worked with one of the best, and brought a new client base to the forefront of their business. Yet, deals were called back for petty offenses and my clients were rated for nonsense. I had to then payback the commission on those sales, and it enraged me.

I left, but I left with a new skill.

I do well in sales.

Making the Pivot

Then, I landed a role in fashion that would use that new found capability to its advantage; only to create the worse work environment I have ever been witness to. Worse than the pressure to sell (which I can take) was the constant belittling and threat of fire for things the upper management failed to convey responsibly. It was the micro-aggressions towards me that became intolerable.

It seemed the more high-end the market, the more low vibrational the people. I had definitely stepped into a "boy's club" and "mean girl" space. Given these truths, it would seem as though, the last thing I should do is start a luxury business.

It was obvious that Luxury Sales was making its best effort to inform me of my misplacement there. Especially, while significant debt and financial trouble loomed over my head. May they were right, I began to think.

How can I offer the things I cannot afford?

Yet, all roads were pointing to faith, and once I had the inkling to go out on my own, despite their behaviors... everything began lining up for me.

Quickly.

An offer came to me that only a fool would refuse, as soon as I considered leaving.

I am many things, but I haven't been a fool in decades.

So, I took the opportunity to work independently, away from the put-downs and threats. I was committed to doing the same thing I did for that company, for myself. Same business, but no bosses. That's how this began.

Imposter Syndrome Takes Shape

I locked in a strong manufacturing partnership with no money down, and I knew The Most High God had set this up for me.

Still, the luxury market was so far from what I was experiencing day-to-day, I felt intimidated. I was hearing the critiques of my previous roles. Executive Leadership blaming me for their mistakes in training, and leaving me to internalize it.

I knew they had dealt me a raw deal, but I couldn't give myself permission to blame them for their behavior.

Instead, I lost my confidence and maintained respect for them.

I was terrified in them feeling like I betrayed them, despite how I was treated.

I felt like I didn't belong in their world, and like I was dragging my family through hell and instability, on a hunch.

As I assembled the business, I was in shambles. My choice didn't make sense to me, yet.

All I could think was: I was offering the highest level of care to my clients, but it is not how I lived.

I was great at being able to give everyone else a service that I couldn't afford to give myself.

I serve well, but I am of no service to me or my family.

That's how I felt. Was I a hypocrite simply for selling what I can't buy?

Who am I to know the difference between a quality textile and the cheaper version of it, while barely being able to afford fast fashion?

I didn't know the answer to this question when I began, but I knew it would be important for me to find out.

Someone once told me, "your brand is not what you say it is; it is what your consumer says it is to them."

That statement that has unlocked the depth of an imposter syndrome experience I never anticipated for myself.

I often grapple with whether or not I am being fair to my clients, knowing it's absurd to accuse myself this way.

I was in the industry, and witnessed the major differences in what I provide and what some of my peers offer. I have to remind myself of what I give, while seeing people be underserved for a much higher price point than I've set, elsewhere.

Those people happily pay for a fraction of the attention and care I invest into each of my clients, and yet, I have the nerve to wonder if I overcharge.

Everyday. Every purchase. I feel this.

What is wrong with me? Why is it that I constantly consider if I have earned the right to be Premium for my consumer, when I know I'm a rarity?

I often feel challenged by the fun I have with my people. Since I would do it for free, I have a hard time pricing it. I feel guilty being paid well for my gifts. So, a discount is the first thing that comes to mind.

It happened so often that I now have my husband review my sales, just for someone to answer to.

Even while knowing I am already set at a fraction of the market's average, I struggle to admit I'm giving more than the expectation, consistently.

But why?

Because people's words do take some effect, if you let them.

I certainly let the words of those employers do a work on me when I began.

It has taken me some time to shift into the self-respect that younger version of me earned for herself. It hasn't been a smooth transition, but I laugh at the thoughts of the woman I left behind.

In just a few months of business, I've stepped into a new light.

So, yesterday's price is not today's price, and yet, my price is fair.

The Mental Transition

It was just last season that I worked for someone else's approval.

It hasn't even been a year and I have had to pivot several times in business since my 2025 start.

My clients reshaped and molded my brand for me. They believe in my visions for them.

They shifted my confidence for me, but I just got here!

Ten months ago, I was happy to serve under someone else's leadership without complaint. Humbly, I was willing to study as an apprentice would a great artisan, if only they would have me. But God had something better for me. My family saw greater works in me, and I started to see it too.

Before that moment, I was willing to absorb this Made-To-Measure industry with grace, paying the full cost to become the best sales person I could.

This meant, allowing my mentor to take over my clientele as a "teaching tool", until someone felt I was "ready to do it alone". I had to trust the upper management to deliver the care, attention, and intuitive knowledge I possessed about my clients, their way and with their expertise, as a bystander.

It's an old system in sales and there's nothing devastatingly wrong with it, until everything goes wrong with it, for me.

The writing was on the wall. I needed to lead my sales alone.

For some reason, at this company, my alterations wouldn't be finished on time and my fabric would be out of stock. My buttons wouldn't arrive and my clients wouldn't be notified. The communication suffered repeatedly, and I noticed it was something that was happening only to me.

Then it hit me, they cannot serve my clientele. I do not belong here. This is not a good fit. I Called It A Brand Mismatch. My clients ask for bold, saturated colors. They desire ethnic cloth from the continent of Africa, and countries like India, China, and Sri Lanka. They desire British patterns that tell their heritage stories, not that blend in with the status quo. They were brave innovators like me, and a well-established brand found them disruptive.

They reflected me, and I began to understand myself more because of it. I, too, am a disruptor. My clients reflect my path.

They were willing to pay the price, but they were only willing to pay to look like their unique selves. What they desired most was to bring their inner works to the surface, and to tell a story of their ancestry in their garments. They wanted to wear art and heirlooms, in a way that demands respect through the craftsmanship. They wanted to be seen for who they really are, and that is my gift. It is natural for me to see the best version of people at first glance. So, with this, I fully understood their hopes, but this industry is just not set up to meet their need, in that capacity.

In fact, what they were asking of me, is a far cry from the Navy, Black, and Grey Standard of Fine tailoring.

They were carving a new lane for me, and believing I could navigate it.

So, I was faced with a decision. I could use my charisma to sway my clients to conform to a system that was ready to serve itself at the expense of their creativity and individuality, or I could embrace the demand to self-express through style, and make an expensive pivot that would pay for itself in the end.

Only a fool would turn down a niche market forming under her nose.

Now, I am many things, but I haven't been a fool in decades.

Finding My Lane in Bespoke

When it all clicked for me, I committed to Bespoke Curation. I became the Bespoke Creative Director, as INVITE LUXURY, INC. became a Bespoke Curation House. Our clients desire the chance to speak from their heart, with clothes. They want the garment no one has and no one else can fit. They want to say things without talking and feel at home wherever they are.

I give them that. In a way that only I can.

No matter who I ever thought I was, before I realized this purpose; it is obvious to me now, that this is where all roads lead.

This is who I have been before I knew who I'd become. I am bespoke. The definition of the word's true essence.

I am a thing derived from a community that bespeaks of this new me, and to whom I owe my peace. Without this journey, I may have never known.

Thank you.